Entertainment writer Matt Johnson explored ‘Long Island Cannibal Massacre’ and lived to review the horror film.
So begins the time of year when it is socially acceptable to watch the staple of American cinema that is the B-grade horror movie.
“Long Island Cannibal Massacre” is a great place to start.
It has all the classic elements of B-movie goodness: an over-the-top storyline that was intended to be a lot less hilarious than it is, gobs of fake blood and budget of about $20.
The movie is a product of the mind of Nathan Schiff, who created other titles such as “Weasels Rip My Flesh” and “They Don’t Cut the Grass Anymore.”
“Long Island Cannibal Massacre” was Schiff’s second film and was written and filmed in 1980 when he was 17.
The ridiculous plot revolves around Jack’s dad, hungry because he’s a leper and, somehow consequently, a cannibal.
Jack, being the good son he is, hires a guy with a pillow case over his head and a biker to kidnap and kill some of the local girls to satisfy his father’s hunger.
Detective Cameron gets suspicious and starts investigating.
A few more gruesome murders, an argument with a trash bag and a chainsaw battle for the ages later, the movie ends.
As with most movies of this genre, it suffers from a combination of bad acting and poor writing, but most fans will agree that those just add to the mystique.
Schiff takes you through an emotional rollercoaster over the 92 minute duration, but none of those emotions are fear.
If you’re looking for an actual horror film, look elsewhere.
But if you’re looking for a hilarious, gross B-movie and aren’t too concerned with it having a completely understandable plot, “Long Island Cannibal Massacre” is your movie.
Loading ...
All Articles