Stealing from the poor to feed the rich
As much as it hurts to admit, The O’Collegian Editorial Board isn’t as secret, elusive or cool as Yale University’s famous Skull and Bones Society.
Instead, we’re a group of educated college students who like to debate and discuss a variety of issues.
Well, that is, between the time spent fighting over whether Miley Cyrus really is taking over the world because she is basically on every product in Wal-Mart.
Not many people seem to know what we do or who we are, even though we list our names on every opinion page this semester.
Therefore, we would like to introduce ourselves to you on this first day back.
Of the seven members, two brave men dare set foot in the conference room where their male voices can’t be heard sometimes over five women ranting about either why we’re angry or how they’ve made us angry.
On our right, we have three conservative students who are wildly different. One describes herself as a lover of video games and conservative wrath. (Yes, that’s exactly how she put it).
The other conservative woman of the group tends to be less about wrath and more about positivity.
She’s kind of like the happy-go-lucky lover of puppies, rainbows and sunshine. We think deep down, she packs a punch that will be more lethal than the water at Theta Pond when it’s finally unleashed.
Last for the conservatives is an easy-going, country music-loving guy who is calm until one of the three liberals tick him off.
And we try to make that happen as often as possible.
Within the liberals, we have one member who is quite the fashionista. She might try to persuade us to write an editorial at some point this semester over the horrors of wearing black with brown. (We know you care about other things, too, Brittney).
Meanwhile, our liberal guy of the group likes everything under the sun and in the shade, possibly even our conservative counterparts. Outside of a few screaming matches we’ll have this year, we do get along. Sometimes.
Among the talk of politics, campus news and of course, fashion, you’ll find a member who prides herself on spreading feminist theory and boring the rest of us by ranting for long, long periods of time about gender issues.
And last but certainly not least, the member of the editorial board we all plan to suck up to in hopes that she’ll side with us — our moderate, a quiet but well-versed mother of one adorable child.
Basically, we’re the ones responsible for the content that will fill this box every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Our meeting time is listed about two inches to the right, and you are more than welcome to attend.
Well, unless you’re going to yell at us. In that case, you have to at least bring food.
—The O’Collegian Editorial Board
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