It’s been a long time but the train is once again geared up and ready to leave the station.
Unfortunately, we’re down a conductor. George Carlin, you will be missed.
Our first stop on the crazy train is the queen’s backyard.
Amy Winehouse has emphysema.
She was taken to the hospital after fainting in her home.
Doctors say she will improve if she gives up the drugs and cigarettes.
Are they kidding?
Amy Winehouse, give up drugs and cigs?
That’s like trying to take honey from bees.
Except instead of getting stung, you’d probably get ashed on and come away with some nasty-ass infection.
Jamie Lynn Spears popped out her baby last week.
It’s a girl and her name is Maddie Briann, which is decidedly less redneck than most expected.
I hope the Spears’ family and friends got her lots of nice things, like bottles, bibs and binkies.
Hopefully they remembered to get something for the baby, too.
Britney Spears went home to greet her niece.
Her visit was quiet, which is disappointing.
We were hoping for her usual.
She holds the baby hostage, goes to the hospital and then plays peek-a-boob with the free world.
Anne Hathaway is smart.
(Haha, get it?)
Anyway, she appears to have dodged a bullet by dumping ex-boyfriend Raffaello Follieri, who was arrested on suspicion of money laundering and wire fraud conspiracy.
Poor girl. The princess is still waiting for her prince to come.
Too cheesy?
OK, I’ll quit.





