It’s about that time of year, when everyone begins admitting that their New Year’s resolution just did not come to pass this time. Things came up and it just ended up being the wrong time. Next year will be different, right?
I must say I get a great deal of joy out of listening to friends’ resolutions every year. Whether it be going to the gym more often or swearing off fast food, I know deep down that as soon as Jan. 3 rolls around, at least one friend will be explaining to me the reason behind their lack of physical activity as we venture to Taco Bueno at 1 in the morning.
Most people live up to their promises a little better, however. Statistics show that about 60 percent of Americans actually remain faithful to their New Year’s resolution for at least two months. How does that make you feel? If this study is true, then six out of 10 readers are still living up to their New Year’s resolution.
Surely this data is flawed and misleading. No one can think of two friends, let alone six, that have not already abandoned their respective oaths of honor.
Foreigners must think we Americans are hilarious, what with the way we triumphantly resolve to live a better life, only to stumble and fall after a few short weeks of half-hearted attempts. Only in America could this dishonesty not be considered deceitful, but rather be accepted as reality and a way of life. One wonders if these socially acceptable falsehoods are commonplace in other nations around New Year’s.
So who’s to blame for creating such a rich tradition of annual guilt and shame? Unfortunately, capturing and flogging the culprit would do no good, as they have been dead for about 4,000 years. The Babylonians were the first to start celebrating New Year’s, however their festivities took place about March instead of January — with the spring planting of crops.
While I’m upset with the Babylonians for lulling me into a dull stupor of gloominess every year, I like their idea of starting the year in March when it’s vibrant and happy outside. Plus it’s warm. It’s just too cold in January to do anything but bundle up and watch Court TV.
The point is, nobody is being fooled by anyone when it comes to New Year’s resolutions. The odds of success are miniscule at best, and even if you are actually going to the gym five times a week, nobody is going to believe you.
So for those of you who are still walking the narrow road and keeping up with your resolutions, I commend you and good luck with the future. As for everyone else, well, there’s always next year.
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