I can remember Nate’s last high school tennis match and his last high school basketball game, both when he was at Edmond North High School. Our paths just overlapped that way.
But nothing I can, or could ever, say about Fleming will come close to matching the poignancy of an e-mail I received Monday.
The e-mail was from Matt Crutchmer, who lives in Albuquerque, N.M., but who is from Fleming’s hometown of Edmond.
Matt knew Fleming. His younger brother, Wes, played AAU basketball with Nate throughout their youth.
Matt is also my cousin. And, right now, at a time when we are all still trying to find the words, Matt gave it his best shot on Monday.
What follows is the text, in full, of the e-mail Matt sent me. …
The Cowboy in White
We’re not supposed to ask why-
I can accept that command.
But with the time now at hand
What about us, you and I?
You’ve left us, on to glory
Like Elijah, in a chariot of fire;
Me, I can’t get any higher
Than this dark tragic story-
This world in which we all now live
Is less by one soul, one mind, one man
Dimmer, though, by the brilliant light by which you ran.
I wonder, what did you still have to give?
Not just to me,
But to all whom you met.
For you, it wasn’t what you could get
That even I could see.
Teach me, Nate, how to shoot a jumper like you
How to talk and act, and smile like you do;
I say ‘do’ because we see you still-
A lighthouse beacon, a lamp upon a hill.
I shouldn’t be selfish, but I must-
Look what this has done to us!
Why must we live without you?
We want to be there too
In the throne room, singing
In white robes bringing
Offerings and praise to our great Lord
Who cleansed us, you, with the blood of His Word.
Old Aurelius taught it, that
Each man has only this life to live and lose
Regardless of how long you may choose
To stay, you must get it down pat
And live each day, each second
To its deep, resonant fulfillment.
Nineteen or ninety-nine years, who cares?
The issue is not, ‘How long did you remain?’
Simply, ‘Did you fight through the pain?
To what precipitous heights did you dare?’
I knew folks who lived to ninety-seven
Who won’t have half the house you’ll have in heaven.
More than a conqueror-
What did you do if
You faced a foe unbeatable?
A goal that was unattainable?
You simply walked on
Rode that horse till it broke
And let you sit and ride
Silently into the night
While the crowd, we, all chanted your name, stood in ovation
To salute the Cowboy dressed in white.
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